Monthly Archives: January 2006

Nightmares From SOCIOLOGY 101

sp008.jpg So the Simpleton entered the beautiful building where Intellectuals are produced (aka University)… He chose Systems Engineering as his major because the "Wisemen" told him if you become an Engineer you can live a lazy life… The Wisemen also said "The Smart thing to do is to choos a minor in an alternate field"… But the Simpletons are never known for doing the smart things, so this one opted to take a whole bunch of courses that would protect him from the Intellectuals… And one such course happens to be "SOCIOLOGY 101"…

A middle aged woman who was almost beautiful came into the Lecture Hall and promised to help us understand Human Nature within a semester…

The course was going smoothly and the simpleton was busy reading all these nice theories on Human Nature:

  • Erich Fromm – Human Nature is Shaped By Society
  • Edward O.Wilson – Human Nature is Shaped By Genetics
  • George W.Morgan – Human Nature Is Free and Complex
  • Jean-Paul Sartire – There Is No Human Nature
  • Martimer J.Adler – There Is A Human Nature
  • Thomas Hobbes – Human Nature Is Anti-Social
  • Jean-Jacques Rousseau – Human Nature Is Corrupted By Society
  • Sigmund Freud – Human Nature Is Aggressive
  • Riane Eisler – Human Nature Is Not Aggressive
  • Charles Darwin – Human Nature Is An Extension Of Animal Evolution
  • Blaise Pascal – Humans Are In Conflict Within Themselves
  • Washington Irving – Humans Are In Conflict With Nature
  • George Orwell – Human Nature Might Be Destroyed
  • Alexander Solzhenitsyn – Human Nature Cannot Be Destroyed
  • Lewis Mumford – The Future Requires A New Kind Of Human Nature
  • B.F.Skinner – Humans Can Build Utopia

With an end to the semester just a few weeks away, the middle aged woman who was almost beautiful dropped an atomic bomb in this form:

"Students ! For your final assignment , which will be worth 30% of your final grade, I would like to define Human Nature in your own words. Make sure you have at least 10 to 15 pages (Of course, double spaced) of content."

And the Simpleton thought:

What a Bitch? The Simpleton entered this course without knowing anything about Human Nature, but now finds himself confused about Human Nature… And trust the Simpleton when he says not knowing about something is much better than being confused about the same thing…

Now you be the judge, here we have a whole bunch of intellectuals trying to outsmart each other and in the process confusing a whole group of Simpletons, but to make things worse, the woman actually wants even the Simpleton to define Human Nature…

And so this is how the Simpleton's paper began:

Human Nature has become undefinable because of the species known as "the Intellectuals" who keep coming up with more and more theories about Human Nature… If there was only one theory and all humans bought into that theory, then may be we might be able to come with a definition for Human Nature.

So in reality, Human Nature varies depending on which theory a particular human has bought into (if not brought into) or in most cases living a happy life without knowing about any of these theories ( something I really should have done, instead of wasting money on a course which promises you to help understand Human Nature, but in the end asks you to define it).

Reaction is very much part of Human Nature. So instead of wasting time trying define Human Nature, I'm going to use this paper to create a theory on how humans react to different situations. This theory will focus on two particular classes: the uneducated and the educated…

The uneducated have immediate reactions to different situations, but soon forget about what they reacted to…

The educated usually don't react (because they consider themselves as civilized), but instead keep rationalizing the uneducated's reaction to a situation, until they themselves start believing in it…

So…

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The Failed Experiment

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“Eureka!” Screamed the genius, convinced he had the perfect solution for controlling the moral ills within a society…

Holding a bottle marked “CULTURE & TRADITION”, he enters Simpleton’s lab… inside the lab, he sees the simpleton standing between two other humans, one holding a bottle marked “RELIGION” and other with a bottle marked “LEGAL LAWS”…

An experiment was conducted and the simpleton presents you with his version of the LAB Report:

Investigating Morality

Purpose:

Some of the scholars, intellectuals and politicians strongly believe the level of morality within the society is declining day by day… They have provided us with three bottles of solutions… The simpleton will try to perform an experiment with these solutions

Problem:

Can we completely cure moral ills by applying Religion, Legal Laws and Culture & Tradition?

Experimental Design:

A box labeled “SOCIETY” will be applied with three different solutions… The solutions will be poured according to the order they were received…

Materials:1 box of “SOCIETY”

1 bottle of “RELIGION” Solution

1 bottle of “LEGAL LAW” Solution

1 bottle of “CULTURE & TRADITION” Solution

Procedure:

  1. “RELIGION” solution was poured into the box of “SOCIETY, results were observed and recorded
  2. “LEGAL LAW” solution was poured into the box of “SOCIETY, results were observed and recorded
  3. “CULTURE & TRADITION” solution was poured into the box of “SOCIETY, results were observed and recorded

Observation:

Procedure Results
“RELIGIOUS” solution was poured Moral Ills were still visible
“LEGAL LAW” solution was poured Moral Ills were still visible
“CULTURE & TRADITION” Solution was poured Moral Ills were still visible

Analysis:

The experiment showed none of these solutions could completely get rid of Moral Ills from the box of “SOCIETY”… The providers of the three solutions kept blaming each other as to why a certain solution didn’t work, but the simpleton had other reasons… All three solutions had the potential to work, but only if some equilibrium could have been established between the components used within each solution… But even equilibrium doesn’t guarantee a society completely free of Moral Ills because Morality begins with an Individual and then passes onto a society…

Conclusion:

The experiment failed to show Moral Ills can be completely cured by applying Religion, Legal Laws and Culture & Tradition…

Evaluation:

The experiment is judged to be adequate, but sufficient. The procedures are simple and easy to follow. The results are easy to see, but the evidence provided is not sufficient to solve the problem… The fact that the simpleton had only one box of Society may have played an important role here…

PS:

The simpleton apologizes to his Chemistry Prof for the blatant misuse of Chemistry with Sociology

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The Dead Politician’s Will

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The dead politician left this on his will:

To all future Politicians, I leave these words:

Become a politician by lying…

Become a politician by cheating…

Become a politician by making false promises…

But please don’t become a politician using:

Religion, History & Culture

Because politics will survive…

But the other three will be distorted and lose its popular appeal…

 

 

Reading of this “Will” reminds the Simpleton of Dr.A.C.Grayling’s (Western Philosopher and certified by SPIN as an Intellectual) thoughts on Politics:

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“Politics and Goverment are very different things. They interact, especially at election time, and almost everyone fails to see the difference – even, sometimes, politicians themselves especially those in opposition, who are able to make promises proportional size to the unliklihood of their ever having to be fulfilled. But most responsible politicians recognise the difference between managing the complexities of a large and populous country, and the political endeavour of persuading voters to continue giving their support.”

Excerpts From Dr.A.C.Grayling’s book “The Reason Of Things”

OK… This probably will sound good to most except the Simpleton… And the problem begins with this:

“But most responsible politicians recognise the difference between managing the complexities of a large and populous country, and the political endeavour of persuading voters to continue giving their support.”

This is true only if the voters are “Thinkers”… But traditionally Voters have always been “Believers”… If that happens, its unfair to ask a responsible politician to play by the rules…

 

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So in this case, the Simpleton is going replace that portion of Dr.A.C.Grayling’s thoughts with Rapper ICE T’s lyrics:

“Don’t Hate The Playa(Player)…Hate The Game…”

From the Album “7TH DEADLY SIN”…

Of course, the intellectuals are going to keep dancing to the tune “Educate the Voters”, but the Simpleton says “May be Uneducating some of the Intellectuals would be a better solution”…

Dr.A.C.Grayling also offered this about the “Media”:

“The public see only part of the external face of goverment. Its ordinary tasks, even those that are done well, rarely find mention in the media, which is hungry for mistakes, problems, lies, evasions, difficulties, conflicts, quarrels, arguments, disasters, miscalculations, personality clashes, and anything else which makes a good story. In consequence the public gets a low impression of politics”

Excerpts From Dr.A.C.Grayling’s book “The Reason Of Things”

Again what the good doctor with a book titled “The Reason Of Things” has to understand is that for decades the Media has been able to survive with the excuse “Don’t Blame The Messenger” and the pop culture rarely blames the media even when they are wrong, so there is no need to be optimistic about this trend changing… But the Doctor saying “even those that are done well, rarely find mention in the media,” is what leads to this illusion called “Patriotism” and false hope that an “Utopian Society” can be created… In any Society, the relationship between Citizens and Goverment is more or less a buisness partnership… If the media keeps reporting only good news then it becomes a propaganda machine… There is absolutely nothing wrong with Media reporting “mistakes, problems, lies, evasions, difficulties, conflicts, quarrels, arguments, disasters, miscalculations, personality clashes,…” as long as they have the facts…

 

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A Confusion Over Appearance

I'm sure some of you are wondering why an unusual appearance for  "The Simpleton"… But there is a reason behind it… The incident occurred around september 30'2005, just as the simpleton entered a political forum from the state where there will be an election in May 2006 (May Day! May Day! Ignore the Media and the Politicians who provide the inkbottle to the print media)… Someone at that forum suggested the simpleton should be more Conservative and keep his Liberal ideas to himself…So when asked how could the simpleton become a conservative, they suggested dressing conservatively would be good start… So when asked how does one dress conservatively…They suggested he should not show body parts that might offend others… Then he went around surveying the opposite sex to find out which body parts offended them… And now he looks like this:

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They said, ”You dumb moron, we were just being politically correct… What ever we said should apply only to women and women only?”…

A little miss understanding has victimized the Simpleton… This is something we all have to get used in contemporary society… Once upon a time there was actually a clear definition for Liberals and Conservatives…

Liberals were those who believed a flat moral order fosters diversity of thought and behavior across the society… Or simply "Take care of yourself so that society does not have to do it for you"…

Conservatives were those who believed a structured moral order brings uniformity of thought and behavior across society…

And traditionally, these two groups have been battling each other… But with Intellectual doctrines, two more groups known as "Liberal Minded Conservative" and "Conservative Minded Liberal" have emerged… Offsprings of these two groups can often be spotted on discussion boards putting Labels on Humans while giving lectures on Morals and Ethics…

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Is SPIN It Dangerous?

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The pundits of political correctness (another branch of Intellectuals) are probally worried about SPIN IT being a threat to the Global Peace Process… So here is the editor’s take on this issue:

 

Lets say, you happen to be peeking down from the balcony on the 33rd floor of some high rise building…

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Ignoring normal human reactions like wanting to spit, piss, throw water balloons or even jump (bound to happen especially if you’re that high and also high on something), lets focus on something far more important… Yes! I’m talking about your friend who sneaks behind you and pretends as if he is going to push you down, but really has a tight hold on you… And I mean, it has to be a friend because an enemy might actually push you and a stranger would become your new enemy with a stunt like that…

Folks! The Simpleton is actually your friend, so pundits please stop worrying…Oh! Sure… He starts things off like he is going to disrupt the Global Peace Process, but that’s simply how dry humor works… And with Political Correctness in place, humor really has become dry…

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Why SPIN It?

SPIN IT

As the Intellectual population among human species keeps growing exponentially, the simpletons are more likely to press the panic button… So the time has come to execute the phrase: “Its Cool To Be A Fool”…

When there are humans willing to use Religion, History, Science and anything else that would help create an illusion to win the race to preserve their own race, then there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to preserve the race known as “The Simpletons”…

One of the greatest contribution from Intelectuals to society was the creation of two classes: Educated and Uneducated Humans… With these two classes in place, for centuries the intellectual has managed to sell “defective” ideas to humans…

The major difference between Intellectuals and simpletons lies on “Having Solutions” to socio-economic problems… The Simpletons have no solutions… The Intellectuals pretend to have solutions… They go around issuing manifestos, doctrines, etc (filled with jargons, preventing the simpleton from understanding it)…

The Simpleton’s problem with the Intellectuals has very little to do with issuing of manifestos and doctrines… It has more to do with failing to admit when a manifesto or doctrine has gone wrong…

And in most societies, “Who is saying it?” becomes far more important than “What is being said”… An intellectual with a few degrees has the power to make humans into believers…

The modern Intellectual specializes in one specific field and tries to solve socio-economic problems using the tricks he learnt within that field… But the problem is there so many different fields in contemproary society and with each field producing tons of Intellectuals, there seems to be far too many ego-trips…

The days when Simpletons relied on main-stream media to help them survive are gone… The media seems far more interested in creating NEWS than delivering it… And they also happen to be far more interested in opinions of Intellectuals than that of Simpletons… So the time has come to open our own press…

Say Hello to “THE SIMPLETON”

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He happens to be the Editor, Columist, Reporter and most of the time the only reader of SPIN (Unless you clicked on “Random blog”)… The SPIN has been launched after leaping over several hurrdles in the form bureaucracy…Even wordpress.com’s sign-up process tried to put stop sign on the lauch, when they said “you need minimum 6 letters for the URL”… So we decided to put a SPIN on it. so now you have SPIN IT…

SPIN has no intention of following the rules of main-stream press, which is to make sense out of NEWS and NEWS MAKERS… Instead, we are planning on making nonsense and nuisance out of those same items… Or to make it simple, we are going to SPIN IT…

Even though, SPIN has no intentions of following rules, we are still expecting our readers to follow tradition when it comes to NEWSPAPERS…

A tradition like rushing to the toilet after reading SPIN… Most people who read their morning paper in the toilet do it for a reason… They do it because they know half the shit you read in the paper has to be dumped and flushed along with the human shit…

So please enjoy as the Simpleton tries to deliver poorly constructed puns, badly written poems and meaningless prose…

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